Monday, March 28, 2005

An Interesting Day

I have spent the day bumming around Delhi. Its been getting pretty hot in the sun here, so walking around to different tourist sites can be exhausting very quickly. My first stop was Raj Ghat, where a memorial is set up at the spot where Mahatma Gandhi's cremation occurred. It was very somber, and the steady stream of Indians visiting the site reminded me yet again of what a beloved person he is by the Indian public. To see the way he is respected and revered, now over 50 years since his death is very touching. In a way, he is the "Founding Father" of modern India, but he is treated with a much more profound respect than we treat George Washington or Thomas Jefferson with.

Next, I made my way to the Jami Masjid, a Muslim mosque where you can climb one of the minarets (prayer towers) to have a brilliant view of Delhi. That was my primary reason for going, plus it seemed like a cheap thing to do since I am getting into crunch time with my budget now. Well, it was just my luck that I arrived at the time they were closing for noontime prayers, so I had to wait outside for a 1/2 hour before I was allowed in. Thankfully, women aren't allowed in the mosque at that time either and many of them were all to happy to let me wait with them. When I was finally allowed inside, I wandered around for a bit and then made my way to the spot where I could buy a ticket to go up into the tower. I was a tad perturbed to find that I couldn't go up by myself (for safety reasons) so I waited until two Dutch girls came by also wanting to walk up. So we went back to the counter only to find that we still couldn't go up because we needed a man with us. To walk up to the top of the tower. Which was not down some shady alley but standing proudly right in front of us.

Well, we were not in a position to argue so the three of us just decided to wait until some man with his family came along and we figured we would attach ourselves to them. When this finally did happen, we were no yet again and it was explained to us that we needed a FOREIGN man to accompany us. There were none in sight and I was getting VERY irritated with this whole arrangement. The guy at the ticket stand made a big deal about saying "Hindu-Muslim can go together, just not Indian and Foreign", like he was being very generous and open minded about the whole affair. The three of us sat down and started talking about the injustice of it all when, Duh-Duh-Duh-Da!, a FOREIGN man came up to the counter and agreed to be our escort. AND to top it all off, after all of the problems in getting into the tower in the first place, it wasn't that great of an excursion anyway. The view was nice, but the space at the top was so small that you didn't really have time to enjoy it, just snap a few pictures and go back down where you came from.

I have had a lot of difficulties being in India because I was a woman, but none of them had been so blatantly discriminatory as this policy. I mean, for crying out loud I am in India, in Delhi, all by myself. I have handled far harder challenges in my life since I have been here on my own than walking up a stupid freaking tower. If they are questioning my ability to do that, imagine the other things I do on my own that would just astonish them. Not to mention the fact that they were insisting it was for my safety. What safety? I have just as much of a likelihood of getting hassled in the streets as I do getting hassled in the tower. It is just so ridiculous. This major incident is added to all the minor ways in which my femininity and womanhood has been questioned in this country. There have been numerous other small things that are requested of me and happen to me that ever so subtly undermine my status. Things like when I was checking into my hotel in Delhi, the man registering me needed to know the name and address of my father. Or earlier when I would be with one of the MSID guys or another foreign man, and the Indians in the room would ask questions about me to them in English and not ask me directly. That has even happened with Dr. Sharma in Chittor, where Indian men will ask questions to him about me in English while I sit there thinking, "Hello! I have a mouth. I have a brain. Ask me!"

I definitely think this trip is turning me more into a feminist than I ever was before. But maybe that is simply because we, as women in the U.S., really really do have so much more freedom in the world than so many others do. Despite the worries and arguments and more radical feminist statements about the different ways the America and its politics is out to undermine our rights, we have so much more than so many others. My time in India has also convinced me more that it is our duty as women to work to ensure that everyone would have equal rights in all the countries in the world. Who else will fight for them if women don't create an international unified front to say that all of these things are unacceptable?

I have so enjoyed interacting with the women I meet here and using my poor Hindi to communicate with them. This will be a very politically incorrect thing to say, but I imagine that when I ignore the men around me and focus solely on the women, that it gives them a little more legitimacy than they had before. To have this person come all the way from the U.S. to speak with women, I can imagine it would surprise some.

Speaking with women here and watching them with their children, you see how similar the human condition really is. When you boil down to it, I want to have children and raise a family just as much as the women here do. I really feel there is a universality in the experience of women all over the world. And that is an amazing thing to discover.

Sunday, March 27, 2005

A Few News Tidbits

While I have some time here on the internet I thought I would tell you about a few news items that have come up over and over while I have been in India.

#1- A Pakistani actress named Meera has been fined by the government of Pakistan because she kissed a man (an Indian)in a Bollywood movie. The country claims that she is a cultural ambassador to India and as such should not behave in such a lewd manner. This is a transcript of an interview she did regarding the controversy. First of all, the idea of a government officially fining anyone for such a thing as kissing seems so ridiculous, but then I also think: if this had been a man, would it have been such a big deal? Is the government mad because any Pakistani would kiss anyone in a movie, or is this just yet another way to keep women reigned in and controlled. But all of this is my opinion. This is an interesting article with quotes from Pakistani women on the issue.

#2- The Government of Rajasthan is considering passing a law that would make it illegal for people to convert from one religion to another, specifically targeting Christianity. This occurred after some Hindu extremists attacked a group of people who were trying to attend a Christian convention of sorts being held in Kota, which is near Chittorgarh in southeastern Rajasthan. They physically prevented people from entering the conference and assaulted them. This particular group is also aligned with the popular Hindutva movement which claims, essentially, that Hinduism is the only religion of "true Indians" and has in the past caused trouble with Islamic citizens of India. (This is a VERY slanted article from Christianity Today about Hindutva issues.) Part of the reasoning I have heard behind this law is a fear that Christians may be bribing people to convert to Christianity by giving them money or livestock, or possibly manipulating people into conversion who don't understand what they are doing. I find these excuses ludicrous, because, although its possible, I can't imagine anyone bribing someone to convert to Christianity. Additionally, since conversion in Christianity is a soul experience, more than likely people who don't understand what they are doing will not be converted anyway. Tim is a religious studies major at Iowa, and when I was in Jaipur he brought this issue up with me. Apparently he had asked his host mom about it, expecting her to be outraged. But she was calm and told him it was probably for the best. Tim is a guy who takes religious freedom very seriously, and liberally, and we had a good discussion about it.

As for me, I think its sad. I can't imagine a place where people are scared into believing in a religion, simply because being a Christian is the basis for my life, worldview and belief system. If someone forced me to change religions, or didn't give me the liberty to believe in what religion I wanted, it would seriously damage my identity. Religious freedom is one of the most valuable rights (for me) that I believe I have in the United States. Although I don't always agree with the political ramifications of people using religious freedom as a way to advance their political beliefs, it is a very important right. I have numerous friends who believe in different religions, or no religion at all. And their ability, and right, to search and discover for themselves what is correct should be upheld and protected at all costs. To see a government take away that right for people, to shield its citizens from a different idea that may give their life more meaning than before, seems cruel to me. Everyone should have the freedom to believe what they want and create their own identity from it.

Happy Easter Everyone

Its Easter today. I thought about trying to find a church in Delhi, but its so hard to communicate what you are looking for and then to find out service times? Its just too much of a chore. So instead, I thought I would go to the internet cafe'.

Yesterday was the Indian festival Holi. It is a Hindu holiday, although everyone I asked seemed to have no idea what the reason for the holiday was. Anyway, to celebrate Holi people buy colored powder and throw it in the air and on others. So, yesterday as I was walking around Delhi I saw very colorful Indians: purple, pink, green, blue. It was like a rainbow in the street. I made sure to wear old clothes just in case I was attacked by color, but the "Tourist Police" were out in full force to prevent the foreigners from getting colored against their will.

The other part of the day that was so eerie was the lack of people around. In India, there are so many people in the country you are almost always surrounded all the time. But yesterday, there was practically no one around. And it was kind of disturbing to me. The streets were so quiet and deserted. Anyway, just thought I would say Hi and wish everyone a happy holiday!

Friday, March 25, 2005

Delhi, Now

I am in Delhi now. Christine and I went to Varanasi for a few days before this. It was a very nice place with a great vibe. For both of us it was a favorite, although looking back on everything I don't think there are too many places I have been in India that I didn't like.

For the most part, Varanasi was extremely hot. Our hotel room was 90 degrees morning and night. The ghats were an incredible thing to see, and the Ganges was far bigger than I expected it to be. For some reason I imagined it to be this quaint little river that was packed with people 24/7. But the expanse of the river was massive, and it looks like it gets even bigger and higher during the monsoon seasons. The thing that is bad about the river, though, is the pollution. Besides being a place for worship and bathing, it is also where Hindus bury their dead. Along with that waste, the city of Varanasi also pumps sewage into the river. According to the Lonely Planet, the water has so much polluted millions of times over the amount that is considered safe for bathing. The ghats were also very peaceful. For the most part, the area held as much quiet silence as the serene beaches of Goa held.

I have to tell this story. One day, Christine and I went out to Sarnath near Varanasi. This was the site where Buddha achieved enlightenment, and Christine really wanted to see it so, off we went. The temples were nice and the area was really peaceful. Christine heard of a Buddhist monastery nearby and wanted to go, so we hopped in our rickshaw and went off in that general direction. As we were going along the road, we came upon a young (kinda cute) monk. We asked him where the monastery was and then had him hop in with us. So its Christine, Me and this monk bouncing along on these really bad roads. It was so funny, and as soon as it happened I knew I needed to write about it. The monastery was really beautiful, by the way.

On our train out of town we sat next to an Indian couple from Tamil Nadu and three loud Israelis. Actually, it was two quiet Israelis and one really loud, semi-obnoxious one. This guy just seemed to have no respect for Indian people and was loud and rude. He was nice to Christine and I, but that didn't make up for his obnoxiousness. It prompted a conversation later between the two of us about Israelis in general. There are a lot of Israeli young people who come to India. Everyone in Israel must serve two years in the military after high school, and when they get out they are given some seed money for whatever. A lot of them travel with it, and a lot of them come here so we have met ALOT of Israelis. Christine said with the exception of two guys we met in Goa, all the Israelis she has met have been obnoxious to her. I had quite the opposite impression, just because I am amazed that they are so spirited and happy. All that country has ever known their entire lives has been turmoil, and to meet people from there who don't bear a personality burden from the strife I think is remarkable. This led to a conversation on politics between us, and then politics and theology (which I hate discussing with her because I like Christine but when we talk about religion sometimes I want to hit her I get so frustrated!). Christine doesn't believe in the U.S. support of Israel, and I do. She asked me if that was because of my religion, if Christianity played a part in my support. I told her it did, but that was also because my Christianity plays a major part in all of my political decisions. This conversation took place in a rickshaw, and right bout that time we arrived at the Indira Ghandi Museum, so that was where it ended.

SO, Delhi. I like it here. Its nice to be in a city again. Yesterday I had lunch at McDonald's and dinner at TGIFridays. I have become an obnoxious American when I get to cities where I can have American food. Christine has now gone home to Udaipur, and I am here. I think I will be spending tomorrow (Holi--A holiday) with Anjali's family but I'm not sure. For now, its me in Delhi; just hanging out.

Some blogger notes before I go. My friend Brent has a blog (eightstar.blogspot.com) and his latest post is interesting, so I thought you might like to read it. Later!

Saturday, March 19, 2005

Stressful Times

I have had a hard day, and its only 11 am. This morning I went to the train station before 8 am so Christine and I could get train tickets to Varanasi for our vacation. We were there yesterday, but there were no tickets available and the attendant at the special "Foreign Tourists and Freedom Fighters" ticket window said that there were special quota tickets available on sale at 8 am. If we wanted to get to Varanasi, this was the only way. We got the tickets to Varanasi fine, but when we were trying to figure out our return trips we got all flustered. We had to run around the train station seeking help and a timetable to figure out how we could get out of Uttar Pradesh. Christine and I finally settled on a train to Delhi that we could take together, and then she will head off to Udaipur on a bus arriving in time to celebrate Holi with her family there.

After the train station, I was starving. I REALLY, REALLY wanted eggs for breakfast, but you have no idea how hard it is to find a non-veg restaurant that sells eggs in India. We were searching and searching, and I was starving. All the cycle and auto drivers wouldn't leave us alone and we were searching. It may not seem like a very stressful time, but it was for me. Anyway, after we ate we came to the internet cafe', so I already feel like I had a long day.

So, Christine is here now. She came in on a bus yesterday morning and she, Tim and I had our Midterm Seminar with Rima. We just basically had to give status presentations and talk about our papers, etc. Christine had some interesting comments about Seva Mandir.

Seva is a big NGO here in India, it has numerous international interns working on various development projects, and receives a great amount of foreign funding to do their work. Apparently, Seva got a significant amount of money from the World Bank to work on a poverty alleviation project. The World Bank wanted to pull a specific number of families up from poverty in--get this--TWO YEARS!!

This got me thinking about the Western perception of poverty. Poverty is created in India by numerous instances. Providing a family funds may help, but when children don't have access to education, when a father can't have a job that provides for his family, when he has to pay all he has saved for months and months to a doctor for care when his child falls unexpectedly ill. All of these things have impacts on the reality of poverty. In America, poverty is largely hidden. People who are struggling to survive paycheck to paycheck still may have a home or a car, but it doesn't mean that they do not have struggles. These are the type of people who may benefit from simple financial backing. They already have an amount of education and an occupation to further them along.

Seva's project has not been successful because the parameters that came with the funds doomed the project. Now, instead of supporting and helping the poorest of the poor, the money is being used to help specific families who do not have such great poverty issues and will be able to produce the types of results that the World Bank wishes to see with their "2 year" poverty alleviation project.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

A Good Link

I have wanted to post this for about a week, but somehow it keeps getting delayed. This is an article that appeared in one of the Indian news weeklies. The Oscar winning documentary feature this year, Born Into Brothels, was based in the red-light districts of Kolkata (Calcutta). This is an article that has a different view than maybe you are getting in the U.S. I have not seen the film myself, but I will when I get back. You can read the article here.

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Jaipur Vaapas!

Back in Jaipur now. Its so nice to get out and away from Chittor into an environment that is less harsh, although the men in Jaipur don't seem to be as nice as they used to be. I have had some pretty bad episodes while I have been here, and a few times I have gone off the rail and outright yelled at the perpetrators. Who do they think they are, anyway! I can't tell whether they get a high out of harassing women or if they think that yelling crude comments from across the street will actually make me want to sleep with them. HELLO!?! In some way its kind of like the guys prominent in WI/MN who have huge monster trucks or fancy expensive cars that they soup up and they gun the engine at you as you drive by in the hopes that you might find them manly. Once again: HELLO!?!

I had a crazy day yesterday! Mrs. Singh has family visiting from London, so she can't keep me at her house now, which is fine. But she also wanted me to pack up the things I have left there as well, which meant I needed to go emergency suitcase shopping. So, off I went into Raja Park to search for a suitcase. I knew I needed a fairly substantial one, because I still had a bunch of stuff left at her house. I ended up buying one that was big enough to fit several small children inside and headed back to the house to pack it up. Imagine my surprise when I find that it is filling up extremely fast AND it is extremely heavy. This tells me that 1)I cannot go shopping ANYMORE (which is fine because my list was pretty much done anyway) and 2) I desperately need to get rid of some of my stuff before I leave. I was already planning to get rid of nearly all the clothes I came here with because they have been trashed after all this time in India, but this has now become a necessity. I just hope when it comes down to it that my bags aren't too heavy.

I spent today in the MSID office here doing some last minute work for the seminar we will be having soon-all that procrastination is finally catching up with me. But in my defense it is nearly impossible to get any work done in Chittor with Kush and Shubhi attacking me at any moment. Christine will not come to Jaipur until tomorrow morning so at the moment it is just Tim and I. We had a good old time in the office today, and then we went out to lunch.

Being back in Jaipur, especially now that the weather is turning back to the heat it was in before, it is hard not to reminiscence at the way things were here 7 months ago. I still feel like everything is the same, but its not. I have been watching and seeing the development of this city for a few months now, and I have noticed a few changes. For one thing I have noticed that some of the homeless people were gone. There was a string of sideway along the area where Raj Mandir and a coffee shop, Barista, are that was full of people for nearly 6 months and now on returning to Jaipur I can see these people are gone. I am only assuming that the police have moved in an evicted them, and that they now need a new section of sidewalk to live in. The hopeful reason for them to be gone is that they may be migrating for work, but I don't think that is why they are missing.

Its more than just that change, though. The city feels different somehow. It might be because I feel different about it. I am beginning to remember the things I was scared of when I first got here, which was pretty much everything. I remember looking out the window from the bus when we were in Delhi and wondering how I ever would be able to cope with it all! And now, though every day is hard for various reasons for the most part I can handle everything and am fairly self-sufficient. The things that used to shock me don't anymore. I no longer think about how all I see is men all the time. The first time I walked into the train station in Jaipur to buy train tickets and saw the long lines of brown men I practically jumped out of my skin in fear. Now, I don't even think about it and I often go to the train station by myself to purchase tickets for one reason or another. Traffic in India is very loud, full of beeping horns and all types of vehicles trying to get ahead on sometimes limited space. I have forgotten what quiet traffic sounds like. Or what America smells like. The air here, even in clean cities, is often very polluted. And if it isn't the smell of exhaust then its the trash, or cows. What will it be like to breathe clean air? Or not see cows everywhere? I am also very used to traveling on the left side of the road. What will happen when I try to drive for the first time? (Can you tell I miss home?)

My time here has definitely changed me. For so long after I left for college I still felt like a child. It is one of those mysteries-just because you become a legal adult doesn't mean that you feel like one. I always wondered when I would cross the threshold and feel like an adult-and I can definitely say this is how I feel now. In some ways I can't believe that I am ONLY 22. Some days I look in the mirror and I have to remind myself that I am not much, much older than that. Looking at coming home now, I am so excited to be young again! It feels like a rebirth, where I can go home and be silly and do silly things and it will be ok because I am IN FACT just 22 years old.

One of the things my mom and I used to argue over before I left for India was whether Indian women were oppressed or not. I would take the stance that they weren't, and from alot of my reading at the U I felt confident that that was true. But I certainly don't feel that anymore. If I can't come to a country to learn and visit and see what life is like without feeling oppressed myself, I can't imagine what it is like for the women here. I have an escape, this isn't my real life. I can fly home to the clean United State with my suitcases full of souvenirs and march off to Minnesota to graduate from college and look to my future where I can do what I want to do with my life. I have choices, decisions. And my parents, family, and friends believe that I have the ability to make good decisions for my future, even if I am a girl. The women here seem bound to their lives. I am sure most of them find joy in the lives they lead, in their children and families. And while many women in India experience nothing but violence in their lives, many are also very happy.

So, it begs the question. Are Indian women oppressed or are they just oppressed by American standards? Do I feel oppressed here simply because I have more options and choices at home and that is the root of my oppression? Or do I feel this way because it is, in fact, the truth that women are oppressed here?

And what does "oppression" mean anyway? I have never once heard Rima, Anjali or Pallavi use that word to describe women here. These are women who live fairly unconventional lives and they never speak of the situation for women that exists here as "oppression". It is a title the West has used to describe what they see?

There are so many problems here, and it is so sad simply because the solutions should be so easy. People need a place to live, food to eat, safe drinking water, a bathroom. They need jobs and education. But providing these needs proves harder than you may think.

I read an article in the Asia edition of TIME this week that said 8 million people in the world die every year because they can't afford to stay alive. A few pages later, there was an article on the new FORBES top 100 billionaires list, including several Indians-one of whom threw a $55 million wedding for his daughter last year. There are more than 100 billionaires in the world today and yet 8 million people die because they can't afford to eat. What is going on?

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Still Learning

Prayas, Prayas. Everyday seems to be a new adventure in boredom, except when Anjali is here. We have had a lot to talk about recently.

First of all, it seems that her parents have found a husband for her. She is 26 or 27 now, and getting up there in age in India to be married. When she was in Delhi over the New Year, she gave her parents permission to search for a husband for her. Anjali is extremely intelligent and cultured, has a Master's degree in Social Work; basically there is no place for her to find ANYONE that would remotely fit the bill in Chittor, so she just told her parents to find someone for her. It seems that now they have. He is a guy about her age who is in the Army in Assam. They have spoken on the phone, and she seems to really like how he seems. He decided he liked her without seeing her picture and told her it didn't matter to him what she looked like, which gave him points in her book.

Even though she knew her parents were looking for her, she still seems blindsided by the whole thing. I would be. She may even get married before the end of April, which seems really in a rush. It is kind of like she is resigned to the fact that she HAS to get married. I have the feeling if it were just up to her she would try to find a job in Delhi, or even Jaipur, and in a more metro place maybe find someone on her own to marry. But Anjali has a younger sister who will need to get married at some point (she is 22ish now) and it won't look good to have an older sister who is unwed when the prospective in-laws come calling.

Anjali claims she is neutral about the whole thing, but I think it may be happening so fast that she can't really comprehend it. She doesn't seem to be excited about it; especially not like Pallavi who practically glows anytime you mention her wedding (although she is marrying someone of her choosing, not an arrangement). I don't know her well enough to exactly catch how she is feeling, and I can't deny that I am very frustrated with the situation. I understand all the cultural reasons why this has to happen, but I just wish it didn't have to. Anjali is by far one of my favorite people here, and I just don't think that this is what she really wants-and that makes me sad.

On a completely different hand, Anjali and I went out for dinner the other night and along with gossiping about this whole husband-to-be issue, she told me that on one of her field visits she got some disturbing news. I guess one of the male Prayas workers from Chittor made advances on some of the female Prayas field workers in the form of suggestive comments and inappropriate touching. He is also a guy who is in charge of some of the finances here, so he "suggested" that there could possibly be problems if she ever spoke up. Even worse than finding out that this was happening was that Anjali was hesitating to tell Dr. Gupta about it. I guess that this particular worker is a favorite of the director of the board, who is Dr. Gupta's best friend, and would challenge him if he ever fired this particular worker. Anjali said she knew that Dr. Gupta would be on her side about this, and would want to know what had happened and what was going on, but she didn't want to put him in a spot.

I was outraged. First of all, this is an organization that at its very core fights for women's empowerment and the right to be safe from unwanted advances of men. And to have someone on staff who directly contradicts those goals AND puts employees in danger is disgusting. Second of all, anyone who behaved that way should be fired and reported to the police for potential criminal action.

But, that was my American mind talking, and I was quickly informed and reminded that this is India. In the U.S., having someone who is a known sexual harasser is a liability. The possible lawsuits you may have to endure as a result of their actions alone requires that they be fired. But that isn't the case here, for multiple reasons. #1-Most people could not afford to pursue legal action against a harasser in this country. #2-The legal case would probably pend for years in the Indian justice system without any result. #3-Unlike in the U.S., where a man faced with these accusations would have to prove they DID NOT happen, in India a woman has to prove that they DID indeed happen, and how do you do that? How does a woman in a country like this do that, when she knows that her family will be labelled and stigmatized by the ensuing scandal? She can't. She would most likely deny that it ever happened and keep her mouth shut, and the society would continue to be male-dominated where they can get away with anything they want and won't be questioned for it.

I was trying to explain to Anjali how a sense of moral right and wrong about sexual harassment exists in America, but the only example I could come up with was a little off the mark. Instead, I told her of the mantra "boys don't hit girls". I said that one of the first lessons you learn when you are little and in elementary school is that boys shouldn't hit girls. The reasons for this aren't obvious when everyone are still children, but little girls learn that boys shouldn't hit them, and boys in turn learn that they could hurt girls if they ever hit them. This then manifests itself and internalizes into society, so that people understand that this type of violence is wrong and parents will continue to tell their children "boys don't hit girls". I know this is an oversimplification of an argument, but it worked in this particular instance.

Anjali, the educated modern woman she is, seemed amazed that people taught their children this in the U.S. Here, girls and women are told that they should expect that they will be beaten by their husbands; that spousal violence is just as much a part of a woman's life as getting a period. You don't know how many times I wish I could sit with these women and have in-depth conversations with them in Hindi about how its illegal in America for a husband to hit his wife, and that everyone agrees that you should not have to put up with domestic violence in your life.

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

The Light at the End of the Tunnel

So, updating time. What has happened since the last time I wrote? I went to Udaipur, visiting Christine and spending an obscene amount of rupees on presents for me and others. I also, coincidentally, saw the Oscars on T.V. I could make arguments about the juxtaposition of the expensive dresses and ridiculous honors for, of all things, movies while being in a third world country wracked with poverty and malnutrition. But with the frame of mind I was in at the time, it was a relief to connect with some semblance (any semblance, really) of American life.

After the Udaipur stop I went off to Ahmedabad for a Western Regional meeting of the International Women's Health Meeting. That international gala is happening in Delhi in September (on my birthday actually) so I will miss it, but I have been involved with alot of prep for it here, as much as Prayas has done. There were reps from NGO's from four states: Rajasthan, Gujarat, Maharashtra and Goa. It was really interesting to hear about all the different issues in each state. Goa was by far the most interesting, because they have very unique problems. Native Goans actually have fairly good statistics and numbers, but the problems there are mostly tourism related. The sex industry, migration for work, and lack of food availability because of tourism is all a problem. The food thing really got to me. They were talking all about how fresh fruits and seafood are not available to locals because the restaurants can push prices up for tourists. As they said this, I was thinking about the restaurant in Palolem where Christine and I had breakfast every morning, complete with a divine fruit salad.

There was another American at this meeting. Her parents are from Gujarat, and she is there on a Fulbright scholarship. Seema took Christine and I out after the meeting to a coffee shop and bookstore, and then before we left we had dinner at, SUBWAY. Yes, ladies and gentlemen, joining Pizza Hut and McDonald's, Subway now is on the list of American chains I have frequented while in India.

I caught the bus home with the people from Seva Mandir, and then rode from Udaipur to Chittor on my own. In those 3 hours, I began to feel ill. I had been a little off in Ahmedabad, but this was when I began to get sick. Somehow, I got off the bus and home before I completely lost it. I was dizzy and nauseous for no apparent reason, and it was pretty scary for me. I scared my family pretty good, because when I get sick like that I don't eat or drink anything until I know it won't come up again. They asked me if I wanted a doctor, and I said yes. Piyush wasn't home at the time, so Dr. Sharma called a family member/neighbor from down the street. When he came, it became obvious that I would have to balance myself on a bike while they took me. I could barely walk around the room without holding on to the wall for dear life, and told them I couldn't go on a bike. Dr. Sharma went back to the phone and called Prayas while the family member/neighbor went out to buy some fruit for me. A few minutes later, Dr. Gupta (who is a medical doctor) and Anjali came through the door looking very concerned. The neighbor from upstairs came down with her blood pressure machine, and as I was laying in bed I took an inventory of the scene. In my room, while I laid on my bed dizzy and nauseous, was Anjali, Dr. Gupta, Kavita, Dr. Sharma, the neighbor from upstairs, the family member/neighbor from down the street, Kush, Shubhi and one of their friends.

After it became apparent I wasn't dying, Dr. Sharma and Dr. Gupta sat there chatting about politics, and Kavita brought chai for everyone like it was some sort of social occasion! It was the funniest, oddest thing that has happened to me in awhile, and I would have found it more humorous at the time if all my energy hadn't been focused in trying to keep the world from spinning.

Now that I have recovered and March is here, I am finding that my outlook is far rosier than its been for a long time. I am going to Jaipur on Sunday to spend time there, and then Christine and I and maybe Tim are going to Varanasi. Some travel time is just what I need. Then, after that, 3 more weeks at Prayas, a quick jaunt to Mumbai to see Pallavi married, and last minute goodbyes in Jaipur, and I will be back in the states. Part of me can't believe I have survived thus far. It won't be long now...

Tuesday, March 08, 2005