live from baltimore

It’s me, if you can believe that. I have left such a gap in my blog, its sad. And it’s not that I don’t have adventures to write about, because I do. I just haven’t had the opportunity to write.

Things are going well with the new roommate. She and I are strangely similar, but completely different. We have the exact same decorating taste, which makes furnishing the apartment so much easier. I don’t have the money to buy things and furniture for our place yet, but most of the stuff she has bought would be the exact type of things I would have chosen if I had the cash.

I am soo happy to be getting a paycheck! My first one is this week, and even though it will practically all go to rent, I am glad to get into the cycle of getting paid. I am also very anxious to start buying stuff for my room and bathroom. Sarah has such great, new, homey things in her bedroom and bathroom and it makes me want to have that “settled” feeling to. I have never thought that I would fantasize about the perfect shower curtain for my bathroom, but I have been. It makes me feel horribly domestic, and pathetic! But, it’s such an integral part of settling in, of creating a home atmosphere that makes me feel at home.

I am actually really surprised at how I feel about living here without my stuff. When I came out, I believed that I could happily wait till March to receive most of my belongings. I mean, I lasted a whole year in India living out of two suitcases, which is what I have here. But with Sarah having all of her stuff in the apartment, and my staring at blank walls imagining what pictures should go where, I have realized that I won’t be settled here until all of my belongings make their way across the country to me.

Work is going fine. There are a few of us who started all at the same time; me, and intern named Lynnae from Michigan, and Jordan, the new Program Officer for Darfur. I feel like I am having the hardest adjustment. I constantly feel like I have no clue what I am doing, like I am not performing to their standards and that they are going to decide they don’t like me anymore and hire the intern who works here instead of me. (This concern, however, has not been expressed by them. They seem to be happy with how I am doing, I just FEEL like the failure.) I expected my job to be administrative, but I also expected it to have some responsibilities, and right now I feel as though I spend most of my time putsing around with stuff.

Anyway, I have lost the mood to write. More from me sometime…