My New Home

Well, I am safe in Chittor at the moment. Travel from Jaipur went well, although the last night I was in Mrs. Singh's house was an adventure. Ritu had arrived back in the house that day after visiting her family for Diwali, so everyone was back and it was lively once again. She shared Diwali gifts with everyone, including a flower that lights up in a bunch of different colors for me. Conor and I gave her the gifts we had for her. He felt bad because all he had for Ritu was a few votive candles for Diwali, so he talked to me about maybe taking Ritu out for dinner as a Diwali gift. It was a pretty casual conversation, so I kind of took what he was saying very lightly, but I did warn him that Mrs. Singh would freak out if he asked Ritu for dinner. He had been in India since August, and should have known better than to ask an Indian girl for a date, even if it was a friendly gesture, but he asked her anyway and the whole house kinda went crazy. Mrs. Singh pulled the two of them aside and had a stern talking to. Since I was leaving at 6:30 am the next morning, Conor had already moved all of his stuff to my room and I was going to share a room with Ritu for the night. After the "date" fiasco I stayed where I was and Mrs. Singh banished him to the couch far away from Ritu and I.

Once Conor had realized what he had done we had a LONG conversation about women in India. He admittedly said he should have thought more about what he said to Ritu, and I told him all the stuff I wrote about before on the gender thing with him in the house and whatnot. Earlier in the week a group of students (from my program and his) had gone out to dinner, staying out late (until 11:30). I told him the only reason I had been allowed to go was because I told Mrs. Singh, "I am going with Conor, I will come back with Conor." After talking with him, he said, "Things pretty much suck for women everywhere, huh?" To which I replied, "Well, yeah kinda."

The next morning I left for Chittor. I was pretty passive about the whole thing. I wasn't dreading leaving Jaipur, but I wasn't necessarily looking forward to going to Chittor either. Now that I am here, though, I really love it.

Krista and I are both working for the same organization, Prayas. They specialize in Gender and Health issues, but also have a few independent projects on forestry and environment initiatives (Krista's area). She and I were together the first night we were here, which was a blessing. Prayas has a guesthouse, and so she and I were put there. It was definitely a step down from my host family, far more simply with a VERY dirty bathroom. Its hard because everyone is short on details. Everything is very "fly by the seat of your pants" type stuff. Krista and I were under the impression that we would be together for a few days and then she would go to her village, Devgargh. The next morning after we arrived we showed up at the office and found out she was going that day to Devgargh. I wanted to go with her to see where she would be, so the two of us ran back to the guesthouse and packed (me for one night, her forever) and then we went off to Devgargh.

Devgargh is absolutely beautiful. The village people seemed so interesting, and the people who work with Prayas there were very kind. I hope she is having a good time!

As we left Devgargh, Dr. Narendra (the head guy of Prayas) asked me if I wanted to accompany one of the female Prayas workers (Pallavi) to some workshops and meetings in Barmer (in the Thar Desert) and in Gujurat. I jumped at the chance, especially since things in the office can be slow here. SO, that night Pallavi and I jumped on a bus to go to Barmer.

The trip was fairly long, but I had a sleeper seat in the bus. These sleeper buses have a level of seats and then above the seats are sleeper bunks. The ride was fairly comfortable, but it was VERY cozy. I kept thinking about how my mom would HATE it because she is soo claustrophobic. We had to hop another bus to get to Barmer, and that was my first "Indian bus" experience. Most of the buses I have taken (including the sleeper bus) have been tourist buses where you buy a ticket and a seat. The bus to Barmer was a local bus where people just cram inside, on top of one another, and on top of the bus. Luckily, we caught the bus at its origination, so it was not as crowded. There were still no seats, but Pallavi talked us into the cabin, where the driver sits (largely, she said, because I was with her and a foreigner).

The meeting in Barmer was a training on the declining sex ration with members of the village Panchayats (the local government), and was sponsored by numerous other NGO's. The declining sex ratio is in reference to India's general preference for male children. India is the only country in the world where boys outnumber girls, Rajasthan's sex ratio is 933 girls to 1,000 boys, in Barmer it is 886:1,000. Most of the members of the Panchayat were men, although because some seats of representation are reserved for women, there were about 6 or 7 women there. It was all in Hindi, so I didn't understand most of it (although I did understand some of it). It was interesting to me that these men recognize its a problem but don't want to do anything about it and only think its a problem because there will be less women for their sons to marry. Pallavi said they knew "all the right answers to the questions" but were not interested in trying to enact measures for embetterment in their villages. Some of the men even openly mocked the women panchayat members, which I found extremely inappropriate in a gender issue training. It was interesting to speak to members of other NGO's as well and see what was going on with them.

That night, Pallavi and I took off for Ahmedabad. It was a fairly long drive, and she and I were absolutely exhausted from two nights of consist travel with very little sleep. I was very happy because I finally got a shower (with not-too-cold water) and I got to call home. Then we had to rush off to the conference, and I was in such a hurry that I biffed it and fell down a flight of very steep stairs. My feet just slipped out from under me and I slid all the way down on my rear. I tried to catch myself, but in India there are no railings to most staircases so there was nothing I could do. I did not break anything (except a nail), but I was a tad bruised up and am still sore.

The meeting in Gujurat was with women from NGO's all over the Western area of India (Rajasthan, Gujurat, Maharashtra and Goa). Next year the International Womens Health Meeting will be in Delhi, and the NGO's are taking that opportunity to try and nationalize the women's health movement in India. Until now, most states and areas have specific health needs, and its difficult to manage to speak with a national voice with a country as diverse as this. It was interesting to hear about the different health needs from different states, and the impacts that tourism has on women's health (especially in Goa, which has some of the world's most beautiful beaches and is where I am spending Christmas with Christine). There was also a lively discussion about health insurance in the US, in which I could participate and did.

I did not get to see very much of Ahmedabad, but what I saw was exactly what I pictured India to be like. I can't even put my finger on what exact quality it was that I liked, but that is just the way it felt to me. That night, I caught a bus back to Chittor while Pallavi stayed in Ahmedabad to visit with friends. It was my first "travel alone" experience, and was fairly nice. Because it was a night bus, most people were asleep before we left the station, and the seat next to me was empty so I was able to spread out a little. I was also sitting near a family and some women, so I was not bothered at all. One of the drivers from Prayas was supposed to pick me up and take me to the guesthouse, but the bus was early so I had to call them to come get me (thank God for cell phones!). There was a guy there who was bothering me, but it was largely my fault. I should never had said anything to him, but at first when he was asking me questions I thought he was just trying to practice his English (because it was very bad!). After awhile, though, it became clear that he wanted me to be his wife, and so I started yelling at him to leave me alone (in broken Hindi and forceful English) just as the car pulled up. Even though it was a pain, I wasn't scared or felt in danger because he was just talking, but I was relieved when the car showed up.

I also met my host family in Chittor yesterday. I am so happy to leave the guesthouse, largely because I can't really settle in there and the bathroom is way to dirty for me! The family is very nice, and very opposite Mrs. Singh. There is a father and his wife, their son and his wife, and their two adorable kids, a girl around 6 and a boy who is not a year old yet. It is a very vibrant atmosphere, and they all seem so kind. Plus, maybe the daughter-in-law will teach me how to cook. I also love the way the kids call me Didi (older sister). I think I will be moving there today, although I can't be sure about anything.

This was such a long update! I just really wanted to tell you all what was going on with me and everything that is happening. Thanks for all the emails about Thanksgiving, I hope everyone has a good one. Think of me in India, where I most definetly will not have turkey for dinner.