Sunday, November 21, 2004

Shubhi and Kush

 
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My New Home

Well, I am safe in Chittor at the moment. Travel from Jaipur went well, although the last night I was in Mrs. Singh's house was an adventure. Ritu had arrived back in the house that day after visiting her family for Diwali, so everyone was back and it was lively once again. She shared Diwali gifts with everyone, including a flower that lights up in a bunch of different colors for me. Conor and I gave her the gifts we had for her. He felt bad because all he had for Ritu was a few votive candles for Diwali, so he talked to me about maybe taking Ritu out for dinner as a Diwali gift. It was a pretty casual conversation, so I kind of took what he was saying very lightly, but I did warn him that Mrs. Singh would freak out if he asked Ritu for dinner. He had been in India since August, and should have known better than to ask an Indian girl for a date, even if it was a friendly gesture, but he asked her anyway and the whole house kinda went crazy. Mrs. Singh pulled the two of them aside and had a stern talking to. Since I was leaving at 6:30 am the next morning, Conor had already moved all of his stuff to my room and I was going to share a room with Ritu for the night. After the "date" fiasco I stayed where I was and Mrs. Singh banished him to the couch far away from Ritu and I.

Once Conor had realized what he had done we had a LONG conversation about women in India. He admittedly said he should have thought more about what he said to Ritu, and I told him all the stuff I wrote about before on the gender thing with him in the house and whatnot. Earlier in the week a group of students (from my program and his) had gone out to dinner, staying out late (until 11:30). I told him the only reason I had been allowed to go was because I told Mrs. Singh, "I am going with Conor, I will come back with Conor." After talking with him, he said, "Things pretty much suck for women everywhere, huh?" To which I replied, "Well, yeah kinda."

The next morning I left for Chittor. I was pretty passive about the whole thing. I wasn't dreading leaving Jaipur, but I wasn't necessarily looking forward to going to Chittor either. Now that I am here, though, I really love it.

Krista and I are both working for the same organization, Prayas. They specialize in Gender and Health issues, but also have a few independent projects on forestry and environment initiatives (Krista's area). She and I were together the first night we were here, which was a blessing. Prayas has a guesthouse, and so she and I were put there. It was definitely a step down from my host family, far more simply with a VERY dirty bathroom. Its hard because everyone is short on details. Everything is very "fly by the seat of your pants" type stuff. Krista and I were under the impression that we would be together for a few days and then she would go to her village, Devgargh. The next morning after we arrived we showed up at the office and found out she was going that day to Devgargh. I wanted to go with her to see where she would be, so the two of us ran back to the guesthouse and packed (me for one night, her forever) and then we went off to Devgargh.

Devgargh is absolutely beautiful. The village people seemed so interesting, and the people who work with Prayas there were very kind. I hope she is having a good time!

As we left Devgargh, Dr. Narendra (the head guy of Prayas) asked me if I wanted to accompany one of the female Prayas workers (Pallavi) to some workshops and meetings in Barmer (in the Thar Desert) and in Gujurat. I jumped at the chance, especially since things in the office can be slow here. SO, that night Pallavi and I jumped on a bus to go to Barmer.

The trip was fairly long, but I had a sleeper seat in the bus. These sleeper buses have a level of seats and then above the seats are sleeper bunks. The ride was fairly comfortable, but it was VERY cozy. I kept thinking about how my mom would HATE it because she is soo claustrophobic. We had to hop another bus to get to Barmer, and that was my first "Indian bus" experience. Most of the buses I have taken (including the sleeper bus) have been tourist buses where you buy a ticket and a seat. The bus to Barmer was a local bus where people just cram inside, on top of one another, and on top of the bus. Luckily, we caught the bus at its origination, so it was not as crowded. There were still no seats, but Pallavi talked us into the cabin, where the driver sits (largely, she said, because I was with her and a foreigner).

The meeting in Barmer was a training on the declining sex ration with members of the village Panchayats (the local government), and was sponsored by numerous other NGO's. The declining sex ratio is in reference to India's general preference for male children. India is the only country in the world where boys outnumber girls, Rajasthan's sex ratio is 933 girls to 1,000 boys, in Barmer it is 886:1,000. Most of the members of the Panchayat were men, although because some seats of representation are reserved for women, there were about 6 or 7 women there. It was all in Hindi, so I didn't understand most of it (although I did understand some of it). It was interesting to me that these men recognize its a problem but don't want to do anything about it and only think its a problem because there will be less women for their sons to marry. Pallavi said they knew "all the right answers to the questions" but were not interested in trying to enact measures for embetterment in their villages. Some of the men even openly mocked the women panchayat members, which I found extremely inappropriate in a gender issue training. It was interesting to speak to members of other NGO's as well and see what was going on with them.

That night, Pallavi and I took off for Ahmedabad. It was a fairly long drive, and she and I were absolutely exhausted from two nights of consist travel with very little sleep. I was very happy because I finally got a shower (with not-too-cold water) and I got to call home. Then we had to rush off to the conference, and I was in such a hurry that I biffed it and fell down a flight of very steep stairs. My feet just slipped out from under me and I slid all the way down on my rear. I tried to catch myself, but in India there are no railings to most staircases so there was nothing I could do. I did not break anything (except a nail), but I was a tad bruised up and am still sore.

The meeting in Gujurat was with women from NGO's all over the Western area of India (Rajasthan, Gujurat, Maharashtra and Goa). Next year the International Womens Health Meeting will be in Delhi, and the NGO's are taking that opportunity to try and nationalize the women's health movement in India. Until now, most states and areas have specific health needs, and its difficult to manage to speak with a national voice with a country as diverse as this. It was interesting to hear about the different health needs from different states, and the impacts that tourism has on women's health (especially in Goa, which has some of the world's most beautiful beaches and is where I am spending Christmas with Christine). There was also a lively discussion about health insurance in the US, in which I could participate and did.

I did not get to see very much of Ahmedabad, but what I saw was exactly what I pictured India to be like. I can't even put my finger on what exact quality it was that I liked, but that is just the way it felt to me. That night, I caught a bus back to Chittor while Pallavi stayed in Ahmedabad to visit with friends. It was my first "travel alone" experience, and was fairly nice. Because it was a night bus, most people were asleep before we left the station, and the seat next to me was empty so I was able to spread out a little. I was also sitting near a family and some women, so I was not bothered at all. One of the drivers from Prayas was supposed to pick me up and take me to the guesthouse, but the bus was early so I had to call them to come get me (thank God for cell phones!). There was a guy there who was bothering me, but it was largely my fault. I should never had said anything to him, but at first when he was asking me questions I thought he was just trying to practice his English (because it was very bad!). After awhile, though, it became clear that he wanted me to be his wife, and so I started yelling at him to leave me alone (in broken Hindi and forceful English) just as the car pulled up. Even though it was a pain, I wasn't scared or felt in danger because he was just talking, but I was relieved when the car showed up.

I also met my host family in Chittor yesterday. I am so happy to leave the guesthouse, largely because I can't really settle in there and the bathroom is way to dirty for me! The family is very nice, and very opposite Mrs. Singh. There is a father and his wife, their son and his wife, and their two adorable kids, a girl around 6 and a boy who is not a year old yet. It is a very vibrant atmosphere, and they all seem so kind. Plus, maybe the daughter-in-law will teach me how to cook. I also love the way the kids call me Didi (older sister). I think I will be moving there today, although I can't be sure about anything.

This was such a long update! I just really wanted to tell you all what was going on with me and everything that is happening. Thanks for all the emails about Thanksgiving, I hope everyone has a good one. Think of me in India, where I most definetly will not have turkey for dinner.

Monday, November 15, 2004

Veer Zaara

Hey all! So, Diwali is crazy! Imagine the 4th of July and Christmas combined, with no snow and extremely dangerous fireworks guaranteed to be illegal in all 50 states. The day was pretty boring. We stayed home and waited for the visitors who came and went, so there was alot of down time and alot of conversation in Hindi I tried in vain to follow. The night was when stuff really happened. As soon as it got dark the city lit up again with fireworks. All night long fireworks, firecrackers and bombs were going off. Sitting in my room it sounded more like I was in Iraq than in India. I even called my mom because I wanted her to hear what was going on all around me. I can just imagine her at her desk at work hearing her daughter in the middle of a celebratory war zone. Needless to say, it was very fun.

I don't know how much I have written about Gaurav Towers. It was an Indian mall here and all of us were always there going to Pizza Hut or McDonald's, getting coffee, going to the bookstore, using the internet or buying toilet paper at the grocery store there. Anyways, Gaurav Towers is no more. It burned to the ground on Diwali. Apparently in the middle of the night there was an electrical short that caused the basement to be scorched, and the structure is so unsound they have to knock the whole thing over and build it back from scratch (if they ever rebuild). Its just so ironic to me and the rest of us. In the middle of India, where there are no safety precautions, where I have watched men pour burning metal into molds barefoot without any safety measures, that this modern building completely representative of Western globalization and consumption habits would burn to the ground. We are all sad, mostly because we lost our hangout! I also never got a picture of it to show all of you back home, so you will just have to imagine it.

Yesterday Christine, Arwen, Conor and I went to see the latest Bollywood movie staring Shah Rukh Khan called Veer Zaara. It sucked. I was so disappointed! Ever since we saw Dhoom in September and saw a preview for this movie we were all so excited for it, but it proceeded to be the most boring beautiful movie I have ever seen. All Hindi films are 3 hours long, and this one should have just been 2 hours at the most. The songs were bad, the plot boring, the female lead was practically a prop (stand here, cry here, embrace him here, run to him there, look beautiful here). BUT the costumes were incredible, and I coveted every piece of the girls jewelry.

The most adventurous part of the movie was standing in line for tickets. In India there are separate women and men's lines for tickets (thank God!). Arwen and I waited for one hour for tickets to the movie, and when the box office finally opened the crowd went absolutely crazy! They had police officers there doing security for the lines, and a woman in a police looking sari with a big stick was beating men away from the women's line. I couldn't help but laugh and smile, it was so absurd! The police never, EVER seem to do anything here, and yet they were working security at the MOVIE THEATER! Oh well.

I have spent most of today running errands, because tomorrow I am off to Chittor! I have to pack now, just wanted to send you all a message before I left. It may be awhile before my next post. Until next time...

Wednesday, November 10, 2004

Diwali Time

I have mixed feelings about leaving Jaipur. Today was our last day of class, and next Tuesday morning I am leaving to go to Chittorgargh, or Chittor, in Southern Rajasthan to work with a health organization. I am excited, but dread the change. In all of my past travels, this would be about the time I would be going home, so I am really tired. Now, I have to pack all my stuff up and shift hometowns again (although this will be the last move for awhile. This is the internship I will have all of spring). It is especially hard to think about leaving because my host mom, Mrs. Singh, doesn't seem to want me to go. She always has students, usually girls, and gets very attached to them. The other night she came into my room teary-eyed because I was leaving. She is such a sweet woman, and I am sure that I will be making additional trips to Jaipur to visit her.

There have been some interesting changes in the house. For a while it has been just the two of us, and the house has been relatively quiet. But last week a new girl, Rithu, moved into the room adjacent to mine, and then Mrs. Singh's sister in law came to visit from Delhi, and a new American moved in. First, Rithu. She is a undergrad student studying to take her entrance exams into medical school. She is very quiet, and until Conor, the new American showed up, stayed largely in her room studying. Conor showed up over the weekend. He is from Chicago but goes to school in upstate New York. It has been so weird having another American student at the house. For so long I had been used to being the center of attention in the house, and now he is, and not just because he is new. A few family members of Mrs. Singh came to visit the other night, and while we all sat in a room, only the men spoke. They asked Conor all about his family and what he studies, how he likes India, etc. but didn't ask me one question at all. Then when one of the men invited Conor over to his house for Diwali, after which he nodded to me and said, "When I invite him, I invite you too." Maybe I am reading too much into this, but it was the first time I really felt pushed aside and completely ignored because I was a woman.

Diwali is on Friday, and preparations are in full swing. Diwali season can be compared to the time between Thanksgiving and Christmas in the U.S. The markets have swelled with people buying gifts for Diwali, and it made my last minute souvenir shopping very interesting and much more complicated than it usually is. Also, the marketplaces have lit up, with tinsel canopies and colored lights everywhere. This morning Rithu was decorating the sidewalk with colored powder (kind of like the dust from chalk). I just love the bright colors, and I am so happy I will be with Mrs. Singh to celebrate the holiday.

On the home front, I was informed through an email and the phone that my house has a new kitten.

Hope you all have a good day and week! Till next time.

Sunday, November 07, 2004

Our "New" President

Its hard for me to remember where I left off with the blog. The details escape me alot easier and the weeks are all beginning to blur together.

After Agra and the wedding the school week rushed by. Christine and I were trying frantically to arrange our winter break trip to Kerala, Goa and Mumbai. Over Christmas and New Year's is when all the other Indians travel, so you are competing with one billion other people for train tickets and plane seats. We have everything pretty much settled, so all the scrambling was worth it.

Last Friday night a group of us headed out to Jaisalmer to go on a camel safari and explore a little of the Thar desert. It was a long, long train ride with a few bumps along the way, like the jerk-Indian guy who wouldn't turn off the light above my head while I was trying to sleep! One of the girls, Alicia, her host mom works for the Rajashtan tourism department, so our weekend was planned to the hilt and they were trying very hard to make sure that all of our needs were taken care of. It was nice and for the most part was a very enjoyable weekend.

We got back to Jaipur in time to watch the results from the election come in. I have had very interesting reactions to all of it. I have to start by saying that more recently I have definetly become more homesick. I miss home, want to go home, and have been idealizing home and home life. Part of missing home is, naturally, missing America and the people I know there, and what my life is there. I esentially was idealizing America as well. While I was becoming homesick I was largely missing and imagining a country that really doesn't exist. Watching the election woke me up to that. The home that I miss and what our country as a whole represents and stands for are two very different things.

I am here in India learning about development, about how I can do my part to enhance the lives of the poor, of women, of social outcasts, of all those who society and government here has essentially abandoned, forgotten or taken advantage of. Watching our country vote for the marginalization of all that I am working for and learning here has created a huge crisis for me. I suddenly feel with the reelection of Bush that all those things I am working for here should be abandoned, to ensure that this new administration does not marginalize further the poor, women, uneducated and non-white people of our country. It breaks my heart that so many of my friends are now discouraged and disillusioned about their futures (both personal and the country's)and feel like there is nothing they can do about it. All of the students at my school were told that if we came out and voted for Kerry that we had the power to get Bush out of our White House. But it didn't work that way, and I just hope that people my age will still continue to vote and believe that their vote makes a difference.

The headline in one of the Indian papers here on election day said, "Decision Day in the Divided States of America". It can't be more true. In my lifetime at least, I do not think this country has ever been so sharply divided in half. Bush may have gotten 51% of the vote, but the liberal candidates got 49%. Half and Half in my opinion, and I bet the country will continue to be divided in half about what American stands for, where America is going, and who America should fight for for at least the next 4 years.

It makes me sad to think of the great divide. I feel so hopeless about what I know is going to happen and how I feel it will undermine people Bush has already hurt in office. But for better or worse he is the President. My ONLY confidence comes from the belief that God will always take care of me and my family, and that He is in control of this situation.