Tuesday, October 26, 2004

All Dressed Up

 
 Posted by Picasa

The Taj

 
 Posted by Picasa

An Agra Wedding

It has been a long while since I have had the time to stop and write. The past few weeks have been full of traveling and very little school, and now the regular school weeks are starting to begin again.

The last two weeks were 3 day school weeks, and then the long weekends the whole groups spent traveling. First we went to Dharmashala the home of the Dalai Lama and the Tibetan government in exile. Then last weekend a group of us went to see the Taj Mahal and attend an Indian wedding.

Travel is always filled with drama and tension, especially when it is a group traveling together when there is no designated leader or person in charge. Arranging the Dharmashala trip was a pain, we had a few options for transportation and ended up renting two SUV's and two drivers for the trip there and back. Dharmashala is IN the Himalayas. It is largely a Tibetan refugee town, the place they sought out after crossing the Himalayas on foot to escape the Chinese. It was such a great experience, and I think all of us really appreciated the break from school. The drive was LONG (22 hrs). One of the girls said its like driving from Minneapolis to Florida for 3 days of vacation. Once we got into Himachal Pradesh and saw the mountains, the drive was amazing. We just kept getting closer and closer to the mountains, and they kept getting bigger and bigger. It was by far the most beautiful drive of my life, and a great memory.

One of the best aspects of Dharmashala is that a person can feel as though they can be whoever they want and its ok. I literally forgot that I was in India, and had a hard time coming back to the harshness of Jaipur after the relaxation of the mountains. One day Jen and I went on a hike to try to climb up to a scenic overlook. After hiking for 2+hrs we stopped 45 minutes from the top exhausted and decided to turn back, since it was cloudy and we weren't sure we would be able to see anything anyway.

After that experience, I definitely feel as though I should have been born (or live!) closer to the mountains. I just loved being there, and hopefully Christine and I can get back up there before we leave in May. I would like to see more of the mountains, and experience that relaxing environment again.

The turnaround in Jaipur was very quick. We only were here two nights before Christine and I headed off to Agra. She and I headed off on Wednesday night so we could have a full day of sightseeing in Agra, and we were meeting the rest of the group at the Taj Mahal later that day. As we pulled into Agra I was getting nervous. Though it wasn't extremely late (only 9:00) it was dark, in a strange city with a bad reputation, and the two of us were by ourselves. It was one (of the many, many) times I was praying silently to myself that God would watch over us. He did. The tour books said that our hotel could be hard to get to because they don't offer a commission to autorickshaws, but we had no problem. The guy actually offered to take us around all day for a really good price (Rs. 150).

In the morning we went to Agra fort, then on to the Taj itself. The fort was very cool to see. It was once a palace, and was where Shah Jahan spent his last years of life, gazing out across the city to the monument of love he built for his favorite wife. The view from the Fort of the Taj was impressive, probably even more so in the 1600's when there was no smog to cloud the morning sky.

The Taj was a very surreal experience. I didn't really believe I was there most of the time. You can only really see the whole building from a distance, so while you are walking around on it and next to it, you cannot get a full sense of where you are. There was a group of seven of us and we all soaked as much time as we could there. I have already developed the pictures from last weekend, and the Taj is so picturesque that it looks like I am standing in front of a backdrop and not the real thing.

The next day was the day of the wedding. Our Hindi teacher Rajul had been invited to a distant relatives wedding. The groom is an NRI (Non Resident Indian) from South Carolina, and the bride was from Mumbai (Bombay). It was so much fun for all the girls to get ready and go. Most of us are wash and go these days at school, so to put on makeup and do our hair was a treat. Plus, all of the girls wore saris. I had frantically tried to get my sari ready for the wedding at the last minute, running around town getting the choli (blouse) sewn. Each of the girls walked down to Rajul's room one by one and she pinned us in. A sari is basically a long piece of fabric that is bunched and draped on the body in a beautiful way. It takes alot of confidence to wear, especially without safety pins. Non of the American girls were going to take any risks that night. We all got pinned up, and for a while I felt like one strong wind would blow me apart. Eventually I got comfortable. Alot of the girls spent alot of money on their saris. One spent $100! So they had really beautiful, but heavy and thick material. My sari was much cheaper and made of a more flowing fabric, like a sheer scarf. It was alot easier to sit in and alot more comfortable, but I was worried the pins would rip the material all night. All the girls felt like we were getting ready for prom, and Anthony, the lone boy who came with us, said he loved watching us all get ready. I don't think he had witnessed such a huge makeup and hair production before.

Once we were all coiffed we made our way to the "staging" area. Grooms in Indian weddings ride horses through the street to the ceremony, with his family and a small marching band that plays Hindi movie songs walking in front of him. We took part in the walk to the ceremony, and it was the coolest thing ever. First of all, this groom didn't have just one horse, but two horses and a carriage decked out in marigold garlands. I had never seen a groom on a carriage before. I didn't even know that it was an option! Secondly, while we were walking we would see tons of tourists lining the road watching the procession, and it was cool to think we were experiencing an aspect of Indian culture that they were missing out on. It was even odd to see them taking pictures of the group from the outside.

When we got to the hotel (one of the most famous 5 stars in all of Agra), we went inside to watch the garlanding ceremony. The bride and groom put garlands of flowers on each other and then pose for pictures in huge plush chairs, just like a king and queen on a throne. The auspicious time for the wedding was at 1:30 am, so we had a long wait for the actual marriage ceremony to begin. Some of us didn't make it, and Christine and I were the only two from our group to finally see the bride and groom married (at 3 in the morning). Most of the ceremony was stuff that we didn't understand, since it was all in Hindi. They made offerings to a makeshift altar and then walked around the fire seven times. Finally, the groom put a red powder in the part of the brides hair, and they were married.

The coolest thing about this wedding was the interaction between the bride and groom. It was an arranged marriage through the internet, so the couple had been communicating between the computer and phone for about a year. I have read so much literature about Indian brides and how miserable and sad they are on their wedding days, so it was refreshing to see how happy and excited this bride was to be married. The couple interacted very well, and I got a feeling they would be happily married for a long time (and not just because divorce is taboo). It was actually in direct contrast to weddings or marriages that I had attended or heard of in the states, where you just cross your fingers the bride and groom make it through a year of marriage before its over.

Ahh, I am exhausted. There are more tales to tell, but it will have to be another time!

Wednesday, October 06, 2004

All About the Class

Monday, after the "auto towing" fiasco, I rushed to take a shower and then go off to class. Since nearly all of us went to Udaipur, our teacher delayed our start time till 10:30 and gave us a light day. We took a field trip to the hospital to see a prosthetic fitting clinic. It was really incredible. I wrote a FOR on it, so I will spare you from reading the details twice and attach it at the bottom of the page. I am so happy I brought my laptop here, because computer time is limited with how many people there are. Garland came over to use my computer to type something, and then I went over to her house to visit. She has a very interesting family, very different than my living situation. She has grandparents, parents, children and a daughter-in-law all living under one roof. It is a little more typical of a family situation. The daughter-in-law is named Anu. She is 24 years old and really fun and interesting to talk to. She had an arranged marriage last year, and her living situation is not in the least hostile. She seems to be more traditional than other Indian women I have met, but that may partly be because things have worked out for her. Garland and I were asking her questions about her marriage and wedding, and she was very open. Anu said that, to her, 80% of arranged marriages don't work and it's a 100% gamble. She had only met her husband twice before they were married, and both times it was with numerous family members around to observe and chaperone. She teaches social studies at a local school, and there is a daughter in the house around her age, so I think it helps. Her interpretation of marriage was interesting to me, since everyone in India seems to feel differently about the arranged marriage issue.

Tuesday we had a long day at school, but we had some good news. We are going through a hectic school schedule now, and then we are getting two 5 day weekends to travel, which is wonderful! Our teacher for International Development couldn't come, so at the last minute Rima, our main academic administrator/advisor, brought her father in to speak. I find her whole family fascinating. We all had the opportunity to meet her mother shortly after we came, and we saw her art studio. Rima's mother is a sculptor who has done many commission works in India, and they are impressive, at least to me. One of her projects was a memorial statue that sits in the center of a traffic circle here in Jaipur. She was very interesting to talk to and answered all the questions we asked her about her work and life. Rima's dad, who I know as B. Hooja, spoke to us a little about his perceptions on development. They were a total 180 from what our teacher, Ahuja, believes. One of the comments he said was "We have the technology to go to the moon, but we don't yet have the technology to eradicate poverty." He claims we are putting too many resources in the wrong places.

In the afternoon we had a young lawyer come and speak about the judicial system in India. It was very interesting to us, because we kept pressing him about the law enforcement issues we all had read about in the States, and he kept insisting that it didn't exist. He told us a story that was interesting. He was assigned to a case where a couple from different castes married against their family's wishes. The young bride was taken hostage in her parents home and was not allowed to see her husband. A suit was filed, and it was this lawyer's job to find out what was happening. Before he left to interview the girl, the husband showed him pictures of what she looked like and told stories of things they did together. When the bride's parents showed up with their daughter for the interview, she had veiled her face. The lawyer requested that she remove it, and he saw that it wasn't the girl in the pictures he had seen. He interviewed her anyway, asking questions about her and her husband. She wasn't answering the way the young man said she would, so he knew that it wasn't the wife at all. When he gave his report in court, the judge issued an order that the girl appear in person. This time, the parents produced the real daughter and she told them how she was held against her will by her family, and that she wanted to live with her husband. The judge granted her request. It was an interesting story, and not unlike many other legal cases I had read about before I came.

Today, we had lectures in the morning and then Rajul took us to a women's shelter for abused women and children. They had been running since 1987, which is a long time in India. They have the capacity to hold 30 women, and take female victims of family violence, rape victims, battered women, and mentally impaired women. One of the young women there was just 16 and in the 11th grade. They were really excited when I told them my mom worked in the same type of place, and asked alot of questions about how things work in the U.S.

Tuesday, October 05, 2004

Jaipur Life

I have been much delayed in getting you my newest posts. I have been so busy here that I have not had any time to stop at a cafe' and write everyone! I feel very unattatched from the world as a whole and it is very hard to get U.S. news here. All the English language papers here are not of a very good quality (that is my opinion) and they are all very biased in what they choose to report (what else is new!).

Last Monday everyone was tired at school because they had all gone on a trip to Pushkar. Only 4 of us stayed in Jaipur, myself included, so it was a pretty low key uneventful day, except that with everyone's stories I wish that I had gone to Pushkar! On the walk home, I think I started having a heat attack because I was dehydrated. I was shaking and felt like I was going to faint, but I was only blocks from home and stuck it out. Garland was with me, and as I was dealing with these feelings a boy on a bike started asking us a bunch of questions we didn't want to answer. Garland asked him how old he was, and he said 15. Then she said, "oh, that's so cute! Your just like a little boy. Little boy." When he didn't understand, I said little boy in hindi, chota larka. Then he got the picture, and he let us be.

Tuesday was school like every other day. Afterwards Christine, Krista and I went to Gaurav to get some coffee and chat a bit. I also helped them with their Hindi a little. We spoke alot about International Development. Our teacher for that class here, Kanta Ahuja, is very opposite everything all of us are used to. She is an economist, not a social activist, and her views on development and progress are all very different than ours. Its facisinating to sit in her class and listen to her arguments because no one else I know believes what she does. It also makes good discussion material for us. I told the two of them that I was convinced the best way to make a difference and really improve people's lives was on the grassroots level, that the ultimate reward was a changed life that would never have happened if all of your work and beliefs get caught up in bureaucratic tape. Christine said the more she is here in India she feels the opposite. She argued that the only way to really improve things in other countries would be the bureaucratic/political way because otherwise the system of European/American/Westernization will continue in development. That the best way is to empower them to do it themselves as their cultures see fit. It is an argument that has turned my head a bit as to why I am here and what I want to do. For so long I have felt the best way to make the world a better place is getting your hands dirty to get there. I DESPISE politics in general, but believe in politicians and policies that better people's lives. If only it was a quicker process...

Thursday is fast becoming "Hindi Movie Day". We went across town to see a Indian movie MADHOSHI. It was one of the worst Hindi movies I have seen. First of all, it was an insane plot. A woman who is a schizophrenic falls in love with one of her delusions and thinks he is a real person. On top of that, there is kissing and sex in this movie. Generally the rule in Bollywood is there are not even frontal hugs on the screen, let alone kissing and sex. It is the same way in Indian society, where some women who have arranged marriages never call their husband by his first name, let alone hug him in the presence of family or in public. It was a pretty shocking movie, and made all of us uncomfortable. I don't think we will be going to that theater again (at least I won't). It was Krista's birthday and I felt so bad that we subjected her to the bad movie on her birthday! She turned 20, and we all were teasing her about what a baby she is, since she is the youngest of our group.

Friday at school we had a special dance lecture. We went to a dance school where they taught us some Rajasthani folk dances and then had some of their students dance for us. It was fun to try to learn all of the intricate hand movements and to try to mimic their steps. When the girls danced for us, they were incredible. The oldest one was only 13 but she was so entertaining and her face was so expressive. They also asked a little 6 year old to perform. She had been a student at the school for 4 years already. She danced while balancing a jar with a lit candle on her head, and then ran around and balanced the jar while she stood on objects, 2 glasses and 2 brass jars. Her poise and balance were astonishing, but I couldn't help but wonder what her life will be like. Will she go to school? What kind of marriage will she have? Will she be happy? It was hard to balance these questions while watching this beautiful 6 year old dance. The whole group (minus Tim-Tim) was going to Udaipur that day so we all went out to dinner and then we had to catch an overnight train. I have never been on a train before, only subways, so I thought it would be fun. We had two compartments that each hold 6 people, and then 2 other spots in another section. We nominated the two boys for those positions. I didn't have too much trouble sleeping, except that it was so cold! It had never been as cold in India as it had on that the train, and I was terribly unprepared. Most of us froze all through the night.

We pulled into Udaipur on Saturday morning. All of us wanted food and a shower, and after being met by our guides with marigold garlands we were off to get clean and eat. Our first stop, after those two small goals were accomplished, was City Palace. Udaipur is famous for its Lake Palace, a palace (now a hotel) that sits in the middle of a lake. It has beautiful hills and has more green trees than Jaipur does. Right before we left I also learned that this is the area where my internship will be, so I was excited to see the area for that reason as well. City palace was beautiful. My favorite part was a courtyard with tons of trees and a beautiful fountain. We went to an art school after that, where artists make miniature paintings with the finest brushwork I have ever seen. They sold some of their pieces to us, and I bought a beautiful one of Shah Jahan (the man who built the Taj Mahal) and the Taj itself. I fell in love with it, and it will probably be my one "nice" thing from India. For dinner we went to this special dinner theater with Indian dancing that was disappointing after seeing the incredible girls the day before. There was only a small group there, so after eating dinner we turned to the Hindi speaking staff and said "The food was good!" (bahut aaccha khaanaa tha) and then the lights went out. We used our cell phones as flashlights until they came back on.

Sunday was kind of exhausting, since we spent so much time in the bus. We saw two temples and then drove way far away to see an old battlefield and a museum. By the time we stopped for lunch it was 3:30. After lunch a group of us went shopping in some of the areas we were at on Saturday. Our train left at 8:50 and we needed to be back at the hotel to leave by 7:15. At about 6:30 my group of four started looking for a rickshaw to take us back to the hotel. After being rejected by quite a few we finally got the full story, there was an auto rickshaw strike. Apparently while we were shopping they started on the strike, so we could get there to shop but we couldn't get back to go home. I have never been so thankful for my cell phone in all my life. I called the other half of our group and we met up to figure out what to do. While I was on the phone to some of the others at the hotel Krista saw a woman in a store front and went over to explain our situation. The woman got her son to call us a taxi, and we finally got to the hotel just in time to leave for the station. I was relieved that the stressful situation was over and that we were on our way home.

Our train pulled into Jaipur at 7:30 Monday morning, and Garland, Kevin and I got an auto home. For a while our auto was playing tag with an auto with Krista and Anthony, but then we pulled ahead and cruised along. After we went through a traffic circle our auto driver suddenly pulled over and stopped. He got out, and we all thought he was waiting for the other auto with our friends to show up. The other auto pulled up and that driver got out. I kinda stuck my head out of the side and saw Krista mouth "What is going on?" Turns out our auto had run out of gas and needed a tow. Since their driver couldn't figure out how to tow us, our auto driver jumped into Krista and Anthony's auto and their driver steered our auto. Our auto driver, in the other auto, drove up to us and stuck his foot in a niche in the auto without gas, and away we went. We actually cruised at a pretty decent speed, but traffic circles posed a problem and sometimes we would slow down until he caught up with us again. It turns out that the autos don't have a horn or brakes either when they don't have gas, so we had some close shaves at one point when we tried to stop in traffic. Kevin, Garland and I started yelling "beep!" to try to let people know we were coming. Eventually we got to a petrol station and got home, but the trip was a tad more eventful than we planned on.

I think that is all for now. If you have time check out this link that my former boss sent me. It is an article about Iraq from the Christian Science Monitor. All for now!