Saturday, January 29, 2005

A Little Break

Well I am currently in Udaipur, loving it. I forgot how beautiful this place is. Christine and I are in a hotel that looks over Lake Palace Hotel, and the dried up lake. It's so funny to see jeeps driving around kicking up dust, and cows grazing on the lake bed. Hopefully at some point the lake will come back, and it will be even more beautiful than it is now.

This week went kind of well. I am still bored at Prayas with Dr. Gupta away and all. I still haven't had a research topic assigned to me yet by my NGO, and all attempts to talk about it before have been in vain. But Pallavi said that on Monday she and I are going to discuss what we want to do in detail, and work from there. Yay!

Wednesday was Republic Day, and Anjali came over to my house. She and I watched a movie on my computer, Bridget Jone's Diary, which is one of my favorites and something she had never seen. She squealed and giggled at Colin Firth, and it was so much fun to watch that movie with someone who had never seen it before. It also made me realize how much I miss my friends. Chittor is so claustrophobic! My world there is so small: Prayas and my family. PLUS, I have to be in before dark, which makes it even worse. I am definitely feeling stifled there at the moment, which is why I am in Udaipur visiting Christine hanging out with the other tourists and staying out late.

Anjali needed to run some errands after the movie, so she and I went shopping. Boy, was that a mistake. She will never take me with her again, because none of the shops would give her a good price. They wouldn't even negotiate at all. I felt bad, but she just laughed it off. One of the places she needed to go was to get homeopathic medicine for something, so went to the shop. Every question she asked in Hindi the shopowner answered in English. I don't know whether he thought the medicine was for me or whether he just wanted me to know what they were talking about, but it was really funny.

Thursday and Friday were uneventful days at Prayas. I spent more time with the girls and FINALLY got to the only internet cafe' in Chittor when the power was ON, so I could work. I was basically living everyday until today, when I came here. My host family is going to a wedding here, so I hitched a ride with them to Udaipur to see Christine. It won't be all play though, tomorrow I am going with her into the field for one of her focus group meetings. She is worried that lots of people will come, too many for her to handle, and so she hired another interpreter to come along and I will be leading along with her. I have never been to the village she works in, and I am looking forward to it.

I can't tell you enough what a relief it is to be here with her. Already, I feel a huge weight off my shoulders just by being in a place with so many strangers that look like me. When we are around the touristy places, I am just another face, not something to be stared or gawked at like in Chittor. With every passing day, sometimes I feel that I suppress more and more of who I am to get by here. Somedays I am completely normal, and other days its really hard to cope, for whatever reason. I definitely think that being here for this long is going to be (and already is) one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life so far.

Tuesday, January 25, 2005

Just Everyday Stuff

Well, it’s been awhile everyone. I know, I just can’t seem to get my act together when it comes to regular updates. Although, for many of you I am sure that you are so busy you don’t notice right away about my posts.

My last week in Jaipur was full of one word: RESEARCH! I was gathering resources for my project on rural health development and gender at the Institute for Development Studies library. Christine was often with me, doing some of her stuff on adolescent migration issues. We did spend a good amount of time at the library, but could only stomach it for four hours at a time or so because it was so cold in there. Those of you who are wading through snow right now may find it hard to believe, but India is cold! I know, 60 degrees doesn’t seem cold to most of you, but when you are living in poorly insulated houses that are built to be cool there is no refuge from the air.

Even though we were focusing on research, we did have time to have fun. One day Christine and I climbed a big hill/mountain that overlooks the whole city of Jaipur. Adam (the visiting “Taj” Adam) showed us a path, and for the most part there were really steep stairs almost all the way up. But then they stop and you kind of have to free climb the rest (and I thought of Krista the whole way. If only we had discovered this earlier, then maybe you would have gotten some of your climber angst out!). On loose rocks. And I am afraid of heights. The way up wasn’t too tough, but the way down was really scary. At one point I was looking down the path to where Christine and Adam were, and it was completely vertical. I could see straight to the ground. And as I was trying to ignore my vertigo I had visions of the awful hospital in Mumbai and how I knew if I fell I wouldn’t survive. I made it back safely, of course, but I don’t know if I will be doing that climb again soon.

The three of us also went out to eat with Tim and Sushmita, Tim’s fiancée. Tim met her two years ago when he was first studying in India, on a train from Bangalore to Jaipur. They fell in love, and he came to India another time last year for a little, and finally came back this time with a ring. They are absolutely great together, but they have had some hard times recently. Her family disapproves of the marriage. Its not that they don’t like Tim, but what would the neighbors and the community say if they found out that their Indian daughter had married a white American boy? After spending dinner with the two of them its so easy to see how perfect they are for one another and what a shame it would be if the family conflict this aroused would cause them to break up (or break the engagement off). My favorite part of the evening was when Tim was declaring his love for goats. (Tim does love goats; I have soo many pictures of him petting goats on all the different excursions he has taken with us.) So he was telling us that he loved goats and when he had a house he was going to have a goat and call it Sushmita. Well, if it was me I would have sulked and complained that my fiancée would do such a thing, but Sushmita snapped back and said, ”Well, then I am going to have a pig and I’m going to call it Tim-Tim.” I giggled and giggled, and instantly fell in love with her. Tim has always told us how great she is, but that was just one example to me.

In the middle of the week I had to move out of Mrs. Singh’s house. The new spring semester MSID students were coming, and one of them was taking my room there, so I had to go. I went to this cute hotel on M.I. Road called “Atithi”. I liked staying at a hotel, and it was nice to be by myself and not feel like I was abandoning Mrs. Singh by reading a book or going out with friends. It was also nice because there was a group of Christians at the hotel who were there studying religion and to evangelize. They were all undergrads and grad students from Southeastern College, a Baptist school. Well, when they found out I was a) alone at the hotel, b) a Christian and c) had been in India since September they asked me lots of questions. It was great too because I felt an instant rapport with them, and felt closer to them than almost anyone I have met in India just because we have the same beliefs. Anyway, they were good enough to take me to church with them. I haven’t been to church since August (except for one time in Kerala, Christine and I went to a catholic service in Malayalam, but we didn’t understand it and it was more of a cultural exercise than church to me). So, I have discovered a new church in Jaipur, and hopefully I will have more opportunities to go back and experience it again and again.

On Friday, the 14th was also a big holiday in Jaipur. Kite Day. Everyone has the day off and everyone flies kites. There are so many in the sky, and you can buy special string with glass shards in it to “battle”. I guess they have kite battles and competitions where you actually try to cut the string of a kite, and the last one standing wins. I was at Christine’s house all day, chatting with her family and also meeting new MSID students. We probably met half of the new people for the semester, and none of them seemed as shell-shocked or frightened as I think all the rest of us were in September. I was really impressed, and I thought they were handling things very well.

Saturday the 15th I just bummed around Jaipur and then Sunday, after church, I caught a train to Chittorgarh. It was so nice to come back, and I was really enthused to see my family again and to show them all my pictures from my vacation. They were excited to see me too, and Piyush said that the kids were asking them all day when I was coming. It is nice to be back, and I think it is nice for them too, because I am entertainment and another person for the kids to play with. I also think its nice for Kavita because she has someone to talk to.

Things at Prayas are pretty much the same. Monday, I twiddled my thumbs and entertained myself, and Tuesday and Wednesday I went out to the field to run around and attend meetings and workshops, etc. Pallavi and Anjali left on Thursday for a meeting in Mumbai, which I am very jealous about. They didn’t come back until today. I would have loved to go with them, and I probably could have, but I didn’t speak up. And Dr. Gupta has gone to the World Social Forum in Brazil where he is speaking, and is leaving tomorrow for 11 days. I called Christine to see if she wanted a visitor this past weekend, but she is going to Ajmer to visit people, so I had a hard time occupying myself while everyone was off having fun.

One of the ways I kept myself busy was by spending more time with my family in Chittor. Kavita is teaching me how to cook Indian food, slowly but surely. I have learned chai and chapattis so far. If I can come back having learned how to make dhal and another vegetable dish, I will have considered myself a success. I also spent more time with the kids, Kush and Shubhi. I played with them and tried to pay attention to them, but they still found ways to get my attention. I was in my room reading and Shubhi came in and started saying, “Leslie didi, Blood! Blood!” I looked down at the finger she was waving at me and saw nothing. She was just trying to get my attention away from my book. We started playing a little, making a fort from my blanket, and Kush joined in to. Just when I thought everything was so great Kush grabbed my nose ring and pulled. It bled a little and didn’t really hurt, but that was where my marginal annoyance with them that day turned into a full-scale get-these-kids-away-from-me feeling.

We also went out to see Sapna’s family’s new house. They moved out from upstairs while I was gone, much to my surprise. They are building a home for themselves kind of near where the Prayas office is, and wanted to be closer to the building site than they were at the Sharma’s house. It was nice to see them again. Sapna is such a warm person and I find her family to be slightly unconventional, which I think is great and can be hard to come by in India. She still works as a teacher even after she has had her first child. And sometimes (most times) when I came to visit her, her husband made us tea while the two of us chatted. They seem so excited to be building their first house, and I am so happy for them.

In the spirit of continuing to share funny emails I get, my former boss Pat sent me this and I thought you might enjoy reading it. Also, soon to come, Leslie’s India Reading list! I have been reading so many books while I have been here (most of them not being about India) and I thought I would make a list recommending the good ones that I have read recently. So you can look out for that as well. Until next time…

After every flight, Quantas' pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems; document their repairs on the form, and then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.
Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Quantas' pilots and the solutions recorded by maintenance engineers.
By the way, Quantas is the only major airline that has never had a fatal accident.

(P = the problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = the solution and action taken by mechanics.)

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks causes throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.

Saturday, January 15, 2005

My Uncle Alan

I was just writing a long entry letting you all know what I have been up to this week, but the computer shut down and I lost it all. So, you will have to wait on pins and needles for the next time I can get to a computer to let you know what is happening with me. I do, however, want to write about one thing before I go.

I called my mom and sister today. They are in Texas with my grandma and my Aunt Dawn preparing for a memorial service. My Uncle Alan died just before Christmas. He was such a wonderful person and a truly good man. He loved my aunt so much, I only hope that my future husband will love me the same way he loved her.

Our family flew out to Texas last May before I left for India, and Leah and I had the opportunity to spend alot of time with him while my mom was busy with her sister. He found plenty of things to chat with us about between our trip to six flags, the stops at Sonic for drinks, or over the puzzles that we did on the dining room table. Both he and my aunt have helped me so much with school and life, and never hesistated to tell me that any need I may have should be voiced to them, even if all it resulted in was two more prayer partners. They were like a second set of parents to me, and we loved them together as much as we loved them equally.

My mom sent me a draft of the eulogy she will be presenting, and I wanted to post a copy so that you all can see what a good man he was, and how much he will be missed by everyone who knew him.

"My name is Laurie Jorgensen, and I am Dawn's sister and the mother of Alan's nieces, Leslie and Leah. He was so much more to me than my sister's husband.
He was my friend.

After the gift of knowing Alan for thirty years, I can say he was perhaps the most decent person I have ever met...in some ways very old fashioned in terms of his manners, yet unconventional and wildly fun in others. He was not a perfect man, nor superhuman. But we don't have to exaggerate who he was to honor him here today.

Alan was a 6'foot, 4 mass of humility. Generous of spirit, kind-hearted, and patient.

For Alan, it was never too early in the morning to get up to take
pictures of the sunrise, changing autumn leaves, and other details of nature he saw. He then delighted all of us by emailing us the pictures or making them into postcards.

I often saw him take his coffee into the backyard early in the morning just to feel the sun on his face while he drank it.

Alan loved movies, particularly animated ones, humor (the quirkier the better), garage sales (yard sales or tag sales they called them in Ohio), and antique bookstores.

He also loved hot air balloons and the image of their bright colors in the sky. Something about the abandon of floating high above everything intrigued him.

He was also enthusiastic about Starbucks, all kinds of chili, Mexican food and Fresca.

Alan thought one of the greatest declines of America was that people wouldn't return their shopping carts to the store. (It was what it represented!)

Alan was always interested. Whether it was the book he was reading, the person he was speaking to, or the places he found himself, he was interested. For a period of time he traveled for business, and in almost every city he would visit the public library. He measured a city by the value they placed on their library.

As a young man, Alan spent numerous summers with Teen Mission, Intl. on a crisis line in Florida, 2 trips through the National Parks, and on their Travel teams, which is where he met Dawn. Eventually, they ended up in a singing group called "The Care Package" whose tour schedule stretched from Turkey Creek, Ohio to Scotland. The greatest "care package" Dawn and Alan received was each other, although Teen Missions brought life long friendships for both of them.

Alan was an extremely hard worker; he wasn't afraid to take on
difficult projects. He was a stable, loyal person who worked for the same company for 26 years, literally working his way up from sweeping floors to management. He took a week's vacation to move my family in 2002, and had the audacity to proclaim it a "fun" vacation.

Better than anyone I've known, Alan was always able to wring all the joy and pleasure out of each individual experience. He wasn't afraid to love the moment he was in. Last May he went to Six Flags with my two daughters. They left first thing in the morning, and Dawn and I called them late in the afternoon. I was worried they were wearing Alan out, but he told Dawn, "They're open til 10-why would we come home?"

Alan loved Dawn.
They were married young, but time and life only strengthened Alan's commitment to her. As her sister and someone who loved her, it was a joy to watch the symmetry they had as a couple. Sometimes they seemed to almost share the same thought, so in sync was their mindset. There were times of conflict and heartbreaking sorrow. Yet, they clung together as best they knew how, and Alan never faltered in his commitment.

My daughter was on Alan's computer at home once, and saw a folder
called "My Beloved". She asked what it was, and he told her to open it. It was a collage of pictures of Dawn through the years they had been together; Dawn discovered after his death that the welcome message on his cellphone said "Dawn is my one and only". He didn't tell her these things. These were for him. But it tells US that his love was not for show, it was for real. They say that character is about who you are when no one is watching, and this was Alan's character.

When asked in an internet journal group this past April where he would add 10 seconds anywhere in his life, he decided it would be at their wedding. He said:
"I remember watching my wife come down the aisle and thinking how
momentous and wonderful this time was but before I knew it, the ceremony was over. So I'd add 3 seconds to processional, she looked so beautiful, shy and happy, the processional is frozen in my mind, but a little more time would really set it.
Then 5 seconds need to be added to the kiss, we kissed but not nearly heartily enough for the road ahead."

Alan loved women. He loved his mom, his sisters, his nieces, his
daughter. He didn't think it was fair that women were expected to wear make-up to cover their flaws when that expectation didn't exist for men. He was puzzled and infuriated by men who were violent with women, not understanding that lack of respect. I confided in him as readily as I did my sister, and I know I wasn't alone.

Whether it was his carpool buddies, Roberta and Terri, being the only male in an all-female quilting group, or talking to Dawn's friends, women of all ages and walks of life felt comfortable around him.

In a recent email, Alan referred to his life as a "grand adventure". He talked about dying young, in his 60's or 70's-none of us ever thought we would lose him this soon. It makes me envious of those of you who worked with him, because you got to see him every day.

Alan, we are so happy we got to share your adventure here. And we know, that your adventure is not over.
Its really just begun. You are finally with Jesus face to face, healed from all pain, all questions answered. And we are all so happy for that. If we could see you now, we would never take you away from where you are.

I feel confident that when I arrive at heaven, Alan will be there to greet me. He will push his way to the front of the gates, wearing some kind of funny hat, and say "I'm so glad you're here. I can't wait to show you"

I love you, Alan; nothing will ever be the same. You were greatly loved and we are so grateful that we were privileged to be the ones who got to do it.

Saturday, January 08, 2005

Christine and Me at Mr. Beans

 
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The New Year

Hey everyone. I just haven't been in the mood to write since I got back to Jaipur.

After our run in with water in Palolem, Christine and I headed to Mumbai (Bombay) for a few days. Mumbai is great. It is a beautiful city with modern citizens. I can't count the number of times I forgot I was in India while I was there. The entire trip I had been looking forward to seeing "Ocean's Twelve" while we were there, so Christine and I saw that. We also hopped from one coffee shop to another, and got the time to visit a few museums and Ghandi's house in Mumbai. We also had to make a trip to the hospital. Christine had gotten an exhaust burn on her leg from a motorbike, and it looked really bad so we went to the doctor.

We ended up having to go to two different hospitals because the first was absolutely pitiful. There was no emergency room, so we had to see the Chief Medical Officer, who was in his office and made us come to him. He glanced at Christine's leg while he was on the phone, and wrote her a prescription while telling her NOT to bandage it. To leave it open to the air. You know, to leave it open to all the healthy bacteria that exists in the air in India. She and I left, hurried to a taxi, and went to another hospital. This is the one the travel books had said was the best in India, and they seemed to know what they were doing. The doctor put on disposable gloves and cleaned the burn, then bandaged it up for her and wrote her a prescription. All in all, they treated her like I would be expected to be treated in the U.S., but it was still a little odd and it was certainly far more expensive than the other clinic.

We left Mumbai to go to Beawar for New Year. Christine's host family has an ancestral home there, and they were celebrating a 50th wedding anniversary in the family, so they wanted Christine to come and were nice enough to let me tag along. Their family is very unique, very loving. They made us both feel welcome and invited us with open arms into their ceremonies. They had a priest come to their house, and they rededicated their vows in a Puja, then they had a reception, where the couple was garlanded over and over by their family members, so much so that you could barely see their eyes when it was all over.

It was interesting attending this thing with Christine. It made us both very reflective to be around a family where there was so much love. She told me that she rarely saw her grandparents and cousins, and I realized how unique it is that I have grown up being so close to my family. Maybe not unique as much as lucky.

So, after the joyful family celebration, we reluctantly headed back to Jaipur. Neither one of us wanted our vacation and travel to be over, we both would have been content to go on our way more before returning to classes in Jaipur. Classes are not all that bad, though. There are only 3 of us here right now, the new Spring semester students will come next week. It is really quiet and casual, and much more free. We were all supposed to start work at our NGO's on Monday, but Christine and I wanted to stay for a special holiday next week in Jaipur, "Kite Day", so we are doing research this next week instead. It will be nice to be able to stay in Jaipur longer before going back to Chittor where the only social life and freedoms I posses in that small town are my host family's special events and occasional outings to the town's single restaurant. Mrs. Singh has also gotten more free about my being at her home, and no longer worries when I am not back before dark. Maybe its me who has changed though, in insisting that I don't need to be home before dark anymore.

It has been fun getting to know a new person, though. Tim has a guest at his house, a former MSID student from last year who is doing some preliminary research in India and is staying with his former host family (Tim's family). This guy, Adam, has gone down in MSID history because he fell off the Taj Mahal while he was visiting it and broke his leg. He had to be hospitalized for a short time in Jaipur. It is a very notorious story, but what the 3 of us weren't aware of was the severity of the injury. Apparently, there was a very serious back injury this guy had, and, doctor's being as they are in India, either didn't know how serious it was or just didn't tell Adam. Anyway, when he got home the doctor's in the U.S. could not believe that he wasn't paralyzed, let alone walking again with very little pain. Injuries like the one he sustained cause paralysis 95% of the time, so he is very lucky. They are actually trying to figure out what the doctors did here to make him heal so fast, and he is now the subject of a case study in the U.S. (go figure).

It has been really nice getting to know Adam, and it plays up the delusion that all of us have more friends and know more people in India than we actually do. Things continue to plug along as normal here. More from me later...